Journal #4 Jazz Technique III Class #4

Once again, as is often the case I find myself sitting here after my ballet class looking back to last Thursday, trying to remember what all we did in Jazz Technique III the week before. I seem to remember coming to class feeling okay, although perhapas a little anxious about what all we would cover in class! Especially because, I remember that last class or so I was rather frustrated with not picking up some of the coriography etc.
This class, we started doing a little bit different floor work with some new turns and jumps. I think the one thing I still obserce about my dancing is that I rarely have much time to practice on my own some of the moves that we covered in class! Often the move is taught, and then I feel like I'm really struggling through the reutine to try and get it down. I'm lucky at the end if I do get it, but often by them I'm rather humbled by those around me who obviously have much more experience than I, so picking up a new move, or perhaps not so new, is not so difficult.
Whatever the case, I continue to fight against myself in trying to focus on myself and getting better some days and not trying to always compare myself with those around me. I can do this stuff, but I get confused sometimes and often (even on the simplist of moves) I can make mistakes as I usually have to go through it a couple times before really feeling confident in what I'm doing! Perhaps, I'm too timid at times to really try hard enough and not focus on the outcome. I think that may be what holds me back sometimes and can add to my discouragement, is that fact that I am too concerned about making a mistake rather than trying to get the move down (no matter what mistakes it may take to get there).
So, it continues to be a lesson in personal discepline to not be concerned with the speed or the level of ability I have in comparison to others! I can do these steps, but it may take awhile to truly grasp them and to feel confident in myself to achieve them! Time and practice develop the technique, which eventually is obtained.
Aside from these struggles, I am enjoying the class! I am enjoying the challenge of learning new steps, new coriography. I'm enjoying learning to push myself to new heights to get down the material. It will be interesting to see in the coming months how I develop in my dance and what improvements I make. My goal is to learn a few common steps and to learn them well, to have cofident in a few basic reutines, and perhaps too to be able to find one step that is more challenging that I can continue to work on and improve throughout the semester!