Well,
here I sit shortly after my ballet class, and I'm in an ill mood. The day has been rather crazy so far, but I must say that already I'm feeling quite down, as dance hasn't gone so well today! I felt like some parts in ballet started out okay, but it got progressively, worse and worse as I went along. Quit honestly, I started to wonder if it was worth my time at all! It's difficult when you feel so far behind others who seem to easely grasp the content. Oh that I had the time to practice and to go over each and every phrase with a patient mentor to guide me along. If I had but the time to work with someone like that, I might feel as though I was starting to get it down! But for now, I feel lost, with no thought of a final performance in sight, I fear I will make a fool of myself if given the chance!
Ah, well at least I still have some hope in jazz! Although, I must admit that I'm still rather concerned about my choriography bit! It's still quite scatterbrained! I feel likeI'm rushing the steps too much and I just can't seem to get the look and feel that I want! I can imagine many different versions of the same piece in my mind's eye, but when it come to actually performing it, half of what I see I can't even do myself! Perhaps I'm a great dreamer, but simply a poor dancer! I really hope to rize above this emotional low, but it will not be easy! Some days it's much easier to dance when I feel like I'm the only one in the room! Then at least, I don't have anything to compare myself with! And despite the fact that I may not like what I see much of the time, at least, it's just me and no one else to see me make a fool of myself!
Okay, well I better go for now, I have further work to do!
Lost in the frustraitions of phrases,
The Dancing Devil Dog
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